How do you know if someone is playing you versus taking his (or her time) to get to know you?
With all the “Rules” and head game playing on both sides (and by even supposedly grown ups who should know better) it’s sometimes hard to tell who is just following some stupid rules (playing you) and who is taking things seriously and just wants to make sure they are making the right decisions.
I’ve tried to compile my own “signs” that help me when dealing with clients situations, and these are just 5 of some of the most obvious ones.
1. If you’re in the dark about what’s going on and he (or she) isn’t doing anything to explain or can’t come up with a plausible explanation of what is happening with the future of the relationship – you’re being played.
2. If the person suddenly pulls back from being fully involved (initiating contact, responding to your texts, emails, calls etc) to zero involvement (ignoring you or in a rush to get away) or if he (or she) doesn’t care that his (or her) actions are hurting you – you’re being played.
3. If he (or she) is always saying he (or she) doesn’t have “enough” time for you but he (or she) seems to have enough time to do everything else including go out on other dates — you’re being played.
4. If he (or she) comes across as too good to be true or his (or her) words don’t always match his (or her) actions – you’re being played.
5. If he (or she) spends more time telling you that the relationship is neither right nor going anywhere, it is always the case that he (or she) is living down to his/her expectations – you are being played and you’re wasting your time.
Bottom line: If there is positive energy and clear signs of “good-will” or loving intentions from the other person, then it’s most likely he (or she) just feels that things are moving too fast for him (or her) and just stepping back to reset the pace at which things are moving. He (or she) is not playing you.
Stepping back and resetting the pace of a relationship that was moving too fast should feel “right” for both of you. You may not always agree on just how much to pull back or even if things were going too fast but there has to be a kind of comfort that things are still “moving forward”; a little slower but progressively moving forward.